A more fat tea, please.

Once you have accepted that you only have partial control of your life – that your free will has guidelines – once you have relented control of the big things in your life to the big guy in the sky, then you can start to move past acceptance of fate to into love of fate.

Amor Fati or Amor Fatum is the Latin term that means loves of fate.

Everybody has some type of ideal plan for their lives. But things don’t always work out the way WE think they should. Sometimes our plans and God’s plan for us diverge and leave us feeling angry, sad or in some other way, like poop.

But, we have only a small, limited view of ourselves and our lives. We can’t see the ultimate plan for ourselves; we cannot see what lies ahead for us; what doors may open; what surprises might come. Our plan for ourselves can also be derived from egotistical desires for possessions or status; maybe power or attention. Believe it or not, we don’t always know what’s best for ourselves.

Let’s get down to specifics. This is what I am suggesting you do: Apply your will through your intentions. You do get to choose your path in life. Be proactive. Decided what you want for yourself and take action. Be persistent. Be tough. Be strong. Be a badass MF’er if you want something bad enough.

And then.

Have the wisdom, faith, and clarity to recognize when it is time to cycle into patience. After you have done your part, then you must allow for time and space for your work to manifest results. Imagine planting a seed in your garden. Then imagine staring at the dirt in which you just sowed your seed (or desire to have a vegetable). Now you have stared at the dirt for an hour and start to get anxious because you do not see a sprout. After two hours your anxiety turns to frustration and then to anger. Then you scream at God and curse Him for not existing and, in a fit of rage, you dig up your seed and throw it away.

Persistence is good. Patience is good. Working in tandem, they are amazing. Knowing when and having the strength to switch from persistence to patience is key. One way to think about it is this: persistence until you hit a wall, then step back and wait for the door to appear. Sometimes a door appears, sometimes another path appears.

Remember the movie (or book) Where the Red Fern Grows?  Grandpa tells the boy that he has to meet God halfway. This is how life works…most of the time.

But the waiting game can be hard. That is where we get back to Amor Fati.

But what about when I don’t get what I want? I wanted to get this new job and somebody else got it. I want to get a boyfriend, but it’s not happening. I want to get a promotion at work, but my boss doesn’t appreciate me.

Some people say if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans. Amor Fati is loving, not just accepting what your maker has in store for you, but loving it; all of the good and all of the bad. You appreciate the fact that hidden in all misfortune is good fortune. You understand that though life’s troubles come growth. You comprehend that smooth seas have never made a skilled sailor. You love life like you love your children. You accept and love all of it, unconditionally, and have faith in the grander plan. You ask yourself in every time of trouble: what is in this for me for learn? how can I grow from this experience? Then be grateful for the opportunity to become more than you were the day before. Love of fate. Amor Fati. Have a great day!