Let’s say somebody wrongs you. At first you get angry, then, eventually, you decide to forgive them. What does that actually mean…to forgive someone? Does it mean that you are no longer angry at them? Does it mean that you are no longer going to hold their mistake against them?
Hold it against them? What does that even mean? Does it mean that when you think about that person you get angry? Does it mean that you aren’t going to be nice to them; that when you see them, you are going to say hello with very little enthusiasm (if at all)?
When you forgive someone, do you say to yourself, “I am going to be the bigger person and forgive?
We have to be careful not to infuse judgment into forgiveness.
Too often our forgiveness comes with some unfortunate tag-a-longs:
- the thought of being right and the other person being wrong
- the thought of being better than the other person
- the desire to tell every one else what this person “did to you”
If you carry these things with you, then what you are giving is not true forgiveness. It is nothing but your EGO beating it’s chest. True forgiveness is the recognition of the fact that you are just as fallible, just as imperfect, just as capable of trespass as the other person.
Forgiveness is understanding that whatever the other person did was driven from some shortcoming or struggle from within themselves. It is understanding that I, too, have shortcomings and struggles. I, too, have done regrettable things that negatively affected other people.
Never think of yourself as the bigger person when you forgive someone. Be empathetic, be authentic and be humble. Try to feel love for the other person, not judgment. Then let it go.
Have a great day!
Love and Let 