You are imagining trying to be nice to that one person that always gives you heartburn and it’s just not happening. You are having a lot of yeahbuts. Yeah, but…; Yeah, but…; Yeah, but…what if this person reacts negatively to me? Yeah, but… what if this person thinks they won (our little skirmish)?
Yeah, but…I really don’t agree with how this person acts and I don’t want to condone their behavior. Yeah but, yeah but, yeah but. Wow. You are really afraid of being kind.
I offer you some alternative yeah buts. Yeah, but maybe some kindness will help this person feel good about themselves. Yeah, but maybe some kindness won’t condone their behavior, but could help to improve it.
Here’s the thing: To become bold enough to start choosing love, you have to let go of the consequences before they even happen. Before you even say something nice or do something kind for another person, you have to release your attachments to and worries about how they will react, what they will tell other people, and any other neurotic, constrictive thoughts that you may have about it.
But…Really…I can’t because I am in a long-standing feud with this person and I want to WIN. I have to prove that I am right and they are wrong. Yeah, that will feel really good.
Can you imagine lying in your casket at your funeral with your family and friends looking at you?
“Oh, Joe, he was quite a person.”
“Yeah, he was, wasn’t he. Do you remember that feud he had in 2017 and 2018 with Betsy? He really won that one.”
“Oh yeah. Man, that was great. He really showed her. That was very impressive.”
What? No! At your funeral, people aren’t going to be talking about the Twitter battle you won twenty years prior. The only thing people talk about is the only thing that matters; the only thing that makes life worth living is
The positive impact that you have had on the people around you.
Our “trouble people” actually serve an important role in our lives. They provide us the challenge of overcoming our need to assert conditions to our love. It’s time to choose a little love and to let go of the reasons why you can’t, along with your worries about what happens after.
Love and Let 